Holy Macaroni.

I had a much needed hiatus from blogging.

Can’t believe it’s been almost a month, but it feels good to get back to writing my thoughts and feelings. What a month it is has been so grab a glass of wine and let me describe the roller coaster we have been on the last 30 hellish days.

I went in for my 21 day blood draw on Monday June 29th, and you better bet your bottom penny I had my lucky lucky penny in hand all day. I had a very good idea that I have officially ovulated for the first time in more than 18 months because I was a temping goddess last month and I saw my first temp spike ever! I told my phlebotomist to only take the blood with progesterone in it and she promised me she would….and she didn’t disappoint. About 30 minutes later, I got the most glorious phone call, Amanda your progesterone is at a lovely 13, test next Monday, if it’s positive give us a call and we will get you in for bloodwork.

HOLY SHIT!

One huge step. The meds have finally worked. My ovaries have finally worked.

HOLY SHIT!

The next few days my boobs were so painful. They grew like overnight. They hurt to lay on. I threw up after dinner one night. My nose was running like a fountain. I had horrible leg cramps on my left side. I was in bed before 8:30 most nights. I was waking up to pee in the middle of the night. I couldn’t go more than 5 minutes without a drink of water. None the less…I had every EARLY pregnancy symptom google described to me.

It hit me all of a sudden when the nurse said take a test next Monday what that Monday was. It was S’ birthday and I couldn’t imagine anything more spectacular way of celebrating a birthday than finding out your dream of becoming a Dad came true. It seemed way too good to be true….way.

The weekend before the big testing day my parents came down for S’ birthday party. We spent the fourth celebrate Americas and S’ birthday with a few of my favorite people. Definitely helped take my mind off of testing. S loves Jack Daniels and coke and his one request for his birthday was that I make him jack and coke cupcakes. It was a coke cake with Jack Daniels frosting. It was so hard to have the frosting on my fingers and not be able to lick it off….that’s how pregnant I thought I was. =(

The weekend came and left. & Monday morning was fast upon us. I woke up bright and early, 5:02 to be exact and had to pee. I went into the bathroom peed on a stick and waited for the two lines to appear…..and waited….and waited. They never showed up. & queue the tears.

Right after I tested a horrible thunderstorm started. It was kind of a sign of our road we have been on. I didn’t want to restart femara…no way in hell did I want to go through that again. I got back in bed, told S the news and just cried myself to sleep in his arms. I woke up an hour or so later and told myself that we are a whole lot closer to having Baby A/G in our arms than we were a year ago. Saddle up and start again.

S and I convinced each other that maybe it was a bit too soon to test and we would test later in the week. My period didn’t show up Tuesday…or Wednesday…and I finally called the doctor to see how long they wanted to let me go before provera.

My nurse was sure my period should made an appearance by then. She said you are pregnant until proven otherwise.

We were proven otherwise this last Thursday. My period came. S and my best friend Brittany were trying to convince me that it might be implantation bleeding…I was for sure it wasn’t.

S took it so hard. I am so use to leaning on him. I had to be his cheerleader this time around. & it actually felt ok and nice to get to be his support system.

Thursday also happened to be a big day, we are officially moving into a 3 bedroom townhome! Our place now is big enough for a family of 4, however the setup is weird and only has one room upstairs so we would have had a nursery in the basement…not going to work. So we are moving (in like a week) to a beautiful 3 bedroom home with the most gorgeous nursery!! We are excited to actually have a room to put things in. Right now we have a closet that we call the baby closet. It will be so nice to actually have the Babies room. We have so much baby stuff thanks to some wonderful friends it will be nice to have a place for it!!

Speaking of nursery I bought the cutest sign for our nursery that it going to kind of be the inspiration for our nursery… I am kind of excited to get it in a frame and up on the wall in our nursery! Woah that sounds weird!!

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So excited.

Yesterday I had my best friend’s wedding shower and S and I hung out with them the whole day which was a blast. Next weekend is her bachelorette party and then it is baby making time. I am hoping and praying that before the wedding (aug. 8th) we will have a baby growing! My goal was to have a baby before the wedding…that didn’t quite happen. We will get there…my slogan!

Femara has been a peach so far. No other symptoms except for an emotional train wreck. I was watching Return to the Amish….lol….yep one of my favorite shows. & Jerimiah had his 3 kids with him and having family time….and I instantly just broke into tears. I want family time so bad. More than just my husband and our puppy…I mean that is pretty awesome but dang…come on!

Saw a few prayers for us as Im not sure if I am ready for another heart break…but some way somehow I always tend to get through it.

& please please please head over to https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/mandate-all-insurance-cover-infertility-basic-healthcare-acknowledge-infertility-disease-not-choice and sign this amazing petition that would not only change our lives, but the many couples who struggle with infertility.

Much Love.

X’s and O’s

Amanda